Is no one normal?

You'd think that having the Cigarette Stalker living near by would be enough to satisfy the weird quotient for my neighbourhood. But no. A Charles Manson clone has taken a unit in the same building across the street and he promises to be more menacing than the Stalker. I'm not sure if it's the rats-nest hair, the filthy beard or the tattooed skinny bod. But something about this guy is just creepy enough to make one fear for one's safety.

It's less his appearance that worries me as much as his actions. I've watched him traffic drugs through his living room (he leaves the blinds open). I've seen him fighting with women on the street. One of whom ran into his apartment and locked herself in the bathroom (I could have told her that wasn't a wise place to take shelter). And like the Cigarette Stalker himself, he just sits on the front steps and smokes.

A couple of weeks ago I saw him walking down the street towards his building. He was drunk as he often is and he was staggering. He decided to adjust his manhood and so he reached down and grabbed the crotch of his shorts and gave himself a big yank. He pulled so hard he went flying into a parked car. Then he picked himself up yelling like someone else had just pushed him down.

Some of you might be thinking that he must have an awfully large package to have to pull so hard on it. But no. I saw him staggering around just a week before in his underwear and I can tell you there's not much there. Not so much as a cocktail wiener to put a dent in the front of his silk boxers. Not the tiniest little bounce.

Maybe he's an ugly woman.