Shut up people

I get annoyed by loud people. I don't just mean people making noise. I mean people who talk loud and who can't turn down the volume.

I had a friend who was loud (and obnoxious at times, but I digress). We were in a crowded restaurant one night and he opened his mouth and made some comment about getting fucked up the ass. Silence fell over our table and the entire restaurant. However, being the sort of person who only listens to hear his own voice, he didn't seem to notice anyone's reaction. I asked him to keep it down but that only encouraged him to ask loudly what he had done wrong. Then I was told that if I was ashamed of being gay it was my problem and not his.

I was ashamed. He was right. But not ashamed of being gay because my boyfriend and I ate at the same place 2 or 3 times a week and we were well known to the staff. I was ashamed that I brought him there to eat and he was making people regurgitate their dinner.

No, I never brought him back.

There's a guy I work with who is equally loud. He talks loud enough to have conversations with people sitting 20 feet away. In fact he often does. and for some reason he is just as loud when people are standing right next to him. Jesus I hate that.

Being loud is not only about loosing your hearing. It's often about being dominant. I'm not claiming to be an expert but I've noticed that loud people are usually the ones who are always trying to remind you they are still in the room or trying to let you know they are in charge.

I'm a quiet kind of guy who's voice usually gets drowned out in group discussions. I've learned that loud people feel they have an upper hand when you don't match their volume. I've also learned that the best way to deal with loud people is to tell them, loudly of course, to "please keep it down" or to "shut the fuck up" (depending on whether you're at work or not). They seem to respond to the volume and delivery of your message more than the message itself.

It works with the guy at work. As a matter of fact, I only have to give him a certain look now and he turns it down. It didn't work with my friend so I resorted to plan B. I stopped talking to him and let him run out of steam by himself. It only took a few minutes. After that, I would only meet him at restaurants in Toronto's gay village where getting fucked up the ass is part of the dinner conversations at many tables. Finally, I completely stopped going out with him. I guess you could say actions speak louder than words.