Fucking Christians

I went to church because my mother made me, my brother and sister go. Mom was pressured to go by her father and her holier-than-thou siblings. My dad was smart and stayed at home. My mom made friends at church and would occasionally let them take us on Sundays when she wouldn’t be able to go.

I wouldn't have minded it so much at the time if a "friend" of a "friend's" family didn't make repeated attempts to molest me over the years. Whenever my mother wasn't around, he would notice my shirt was untucked. Then he'd tuck it in and feel my dick and ass while he was at it. Funny thing was, I made conscious efforts to tuck in my shirt perfectly every Sunday but it was never quite to his satisfaction.

Other times when my siblings and I stayed the night at the friend's house, the old pervert would come over for dinner and or stay the night. After dinner, he'd cuddle me inappropriately and even offer to help by giving me a bath before bed. Thank god he never got me naked and he was never given a room to share with me or my brother.

So that probably explains my attitude towards fucking christians. It's not an overly simple association between church and violation of my personal space. It's a general intolerance for anyone who imposes anything on me from unwanted advances to religion.

The experience also demonstrated to me, at a young age, how pathetic so-called christians can be. I remember standing in the pew at St. Paul's in Hamilton, almost crying, while an old closeted pedophile fag groped me. No one else at church ever noticed. Not even the old ladies standing right beside me. They must have been busy saying their prayers or paying their tithes. Too busy trying to buy their way into heaven to notice what was going on beside them.

I also remember being at someone's house while the same old fucker groped at my groin. No one stopped him. I can remember how they all looked away uncomfortably and how relief finally took hold after I pushed my assailant away one evening. (The pattern of putting up with bullshit for long periods and then suddenly standing up for myself has also stayed with me)

Thinking back now I believe these people would have had a much easier time scolding their un-neutered German Shepard for humping a guest. But they were at a loss to do the same thing to a respected church elder who liked young boys. I know they knew what he was like because I remember them saying things like “Mr. Smith lives with Mr. (whatever) now”, “They’re both widowers and they spend a lot of time together”, “Mr. Smith went a little ‘funny’ after his wife died.” Ya, real funny.

I see a parallel between them sitting in their own living room while I was being molested and sitting in church like automatons. At their home, they knew I was being felt-up but they sat around uncomfortably and pretended not to notice the injustice in their midst. They acted like they preferred not to embarrass their friend rather than take a stand. At church, they obediently prayed, sang in the choir, and generally did things that other would like them to do. I'm sure that if they suspected their religion preached hate and intolerance, they just ignored it rather than take the risk of upsetting anyone.

So I pretty much don't give a fuck about christians. Until I can understand how anyone can watch a child get molested and look the other way I'm not about to change my mind. Yes, there are nice christians out there somewhere just like there are nice muslims but that's no reason to join the taliban. My holier-than-thou aunts and uncles are fucked too by the way. Years of sermons have done nothing to help them change their disfunctional lives. Fuck them all.