Fuck

I thought I'd bottomed out with the colitis and had started the road to recovery with my new course of steroids. I'm not feeling too bad actually and I'm getting better sleep. But my doctor called this morning with some blood test results and now I learn that I have anemia too.

Fuck fuck fuck.

I thought it was just low blood iron and it could be easily remedied (which is probably true in my case). But now I find out it can be a serious problem. I'm a bit upset that I've probably had this for a couple of months but it took so long to see my doctor. I know what to look for now and it probably won't advance as far again but it's still upsetting. No fucking wonder I haven't felt like doing shit.

And of course, my most prominent symptom today was blood loss. I can't start taking iron until after my test Thursday. So now that I'm aware I have a problem, I have to watch it get worse and I can't do anything about it for a couple of days. And I'm very aware of my rapid heart beat the whole time.

Fuck.