My new neighbours are butt plugs

A lovely gay couple moved in next door. I would have assumed that was a good thing until I realized that at least one of them has an attitude (two if you count their dachshund).

Within a week of them moving in, both D and I had to go over and ask them to turn down the music. Both times, we spoke to Rapheal (I think that's his name), and he seemed a bit defensive but apologetic and said he'd try to keep it down.

I really thought it was over with until this last Sunday when the tunes started coming through the wall louder than ever. It was some horrid gay-dance-anthem like something that would make a good soundtrack to a queer-themed TV drama. I don't know exactly what it was but I'm sure that if I heard it in a club I would not be running to the DJ booth to ask who it was. But that's not important. What's important is that it was loud enough for me to hear and dance to if I was so inclined.

But I didn't want to dance so I put on some pants and knocked on the door. Raphael's other half opened the door and I tried to start the conversation on a polite tone. I was like "I'm not sure if you know this but that music comes right through my wall." I assumed he'd be as nice as the other guy but instead he told me "I don't think it's loud." He wasn't wearing a shirt by the way, and he held his door open with one hand while he rested the other one defiantly on his hip. He had this "So what are you gonna do about it" look on his face.

I told him he might not think it's loud but I could still hear it coming through my wall and the condo rules say I shouldn't have to hear any noise from other units. Then he got super-queeny on me and said "You can't tell me what I can do in here. I "OWN" this place. Then (with one eyebrow raised and half a smirk) he gave me this look like he was sure he just played the trump card. I paused, then reminded him that I also owned my place and that I don't have to listen to noise from other units (both eyebrows raised and head slightly turned and tilted forward awaiting his response).

I think my eyebrows were way more sarcastic by the way.

I felt a bit bad for him. I'm sure he was all exited about buying a home and he thought I was just pissing on his parade. But come on, does he really think his money is better than his neighbours and that the rules don't apply to him? I felt a bit embarrased for him as it occured to him that this building was, in fact, full of owners and that he was not an owner amongst renters. Yes, shirtless neighbour, we pay a mortgage too.

I tried to tell him once more that I shouldn't be bothered by noise from other units but he said I couldn't do anything because it was only ten and I couldn't complain about noise until eleven (not true by the way, urban myth). Then he gave me some "I don't give a fuck" look and closed the door.

Meanwhile, D was back at home looking up the condo rules (which is exactly what I wanted). I grabbed them, made a photocopy, hi-lited the applicable rule and went next door. I decided that I didn't want to talk to butt plug again so I just slid it under the door less than a minute after he closed it on me.

Sometime later, we noticed the paper had been given back to us (slid under the door). I don't know if he was trying to be defiant but it didn't matter because the music had been turned down. If this guy wants to be queen of the lofts, I'll buy him a tiara. But he will never be a bigger bitch than I can be. I hope for his sake he never finds that out.